Those three little
words, why are they so hard to say. Questions flood the mind, what about if
they laugh at me? Worse still what if they don’t say it back.
I, I, I love you. Now
that wasnt so hard was it? One small Problem you’re staring at yourself in the
mirror, now time to face the music.
Sitting on a bus
recently two teenagers about fifteen years old were so engrossed in each others
company and professing their undying love for one another, it made me ponder
the notion of love and relationships.
We all grew up to the
boy or girl next door, the thing is many of us never got the chance to tell our
childhood sweethearts how we really feel. For many of us the childhood crush
remains just that, and we move on, or do we?
They say we all have
one true love, the one person you think you can’t live without, and maybe this
is true? Love is a very strong sentiment that is thrown around verbally.
Falling in love with
your best friend is probably one of the toughest decisions one has to make,
they say you can’t help who you fall in love with but where are the warning
signs, the flashing lights to divert one from a relationship that is bound to
fail.
Friends and
relationships should never mix because the boundaries of friendship and
relationships should never be crossed. It is inevitable that the relationship
will fail and an ever greater chances that you will lose your best friend.
Making up and breaking
up are two much intertwined processes of the friend becoming a relationship
process. Now it may be a cynical thought to think that all relationships fail
because of this pressure.
It happens though;
it’s not Sex and the City where Mr Big comes running after Carrie. Losing a
friend is something that is not easily won back, and one of the most heart
wrenching parts of the break up is that the relationship does not fade back
into the old friendship it was once.
Instead there is an
air of awkwardness around the elephant in the room. Of course this elephant is
the relationship that you both failed at and now one of you loses the
friendship. The heart-breaking words of “I don’t think we can be friends”.
It hits us like a
brick wall, the lump that immediately engulfs your chest. Moving on is not an
easy task. It’s a bit like looking in at your former life from the outside.
That numbness that comes about as a result of the pain the loss of friendship
and a lover can bring.
Time is a great healer
though, it may take a very long time to move forward but eventually you will.
The crying will fade to dry eyes, the smile will return; the lump in your chest
will dissolve.
The urge will come to
text, ring, use a social network to stay a part of something you once believed
to be your whole world, but stop, and think about the ten steps you are taking
backwards in your own life.
Take a long hard look
at yourself in the mirror and think about how much stronger you are because of
the experience. A lot of blame in a break up can be put on one person in a
break up and the anguish of seeing the person you loved move on quicker than
you have. It’s as simple as that though, people move on.
Falling in and out of
life is part of life. Yes they may have been your best friend but remember it
didn’t work as a relationship for a reason and as it turns out you’re a much
happier person now than you then.
It’s like a self-help
book of realization and hey if none of the above seem to be working for your
moving on period just push yourself on three main goals that you want to see
yourself doing in the next year, and be happy in the fact that you are now
single and much better off without the EX-Best friend.
Who knows maybe it is
all just an episode of Sex and the City and maybe there’s a new Mr and Mrs Big
just around the corner for you. Time is the cure for heartbreak, time and the
fact that you were always way too good for your ex.
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