THE birth of a child is a life changing experience for the dynamics of any family but what we seem to forget is how the family as a whole, changes with the new arrival.
A new baby not only impacts the immediate family but creates change for the extended family. From the siblings to the grandparents that first cry from a new-born baby changes everything.
For Mark and Sharon Larkin, life as they knew it changed forever in 2010 with the birth of their twin boys Reece and Tyler. Having had a practice run with their eldest son Calum, both had anticipated the tears and tantrums that new-borns can bring to a home.
The arrival of Tyler and Reece completed this picture perfect family. The Larkin’s from Bray in Co Wicklow had prepared for double the trouble which twins can often times bring, but nothing could have prepared the family for what they were to be told in the twins first year of life.
While pregnant with the twins, Sharon was told that there was little or no chance that Reece would live through the pregnancy or survive birth. His kidney had ruptured in the womb and doctors told the parents to be, it was highly unlikely that Reece would survive.
Despite suffering a massive brain stroke, Reece had defied all expectations and survived childbirth and continued to fight. With the help of rehabilitation and spending the first three months of his early life in Crumlin children’s hospital, Reece continued to fight for life.
Despite suffering a massive brain stroke, Reece had defied all expectations and survived childbirth and continued to fight. With the help of rehabilitation and spending the first three months of his early life in Crumlin children’s hospital, Reece continued to fight for life.
As the charismatic three year puts his shoe on the table, while taking a look at a set of headphones left on the table, he appears like any other three year old. His father adds "Reece is a miracle himself, he came out and started fighting."
Sharon’s ‘motherly’ instinct’ began to kick in though when she noticed differences in how her twin boys began to act compared to when her eldest child Calum was a baby. It was thought that Tyler was suffering from a hearing difficulty as he seemed to be unresponsive to loud noises.
Mark and Sharon admit that this was tough especially after the difficulties they had gone through with Reece and the concern that he will eventually need a kidney transplant but they united as a family to brave the struggles that lay ahead.
Like many other families in Ireland, the Larkin’s are living with what has become known as the "hidden disability" which is Autism. Within a few months of their first birthday, Reece and Tyler had been diagnosed with autism.
The boy’s mother Sharon says "On a scale of one to a hundred in terms of autism, the boys rank at 98 per cent." this being the worse end of the spectrum to be on medically.
It was the change in behaviour that led Mark and Sharon to question the health of their twin boys. "When the twins were one, they both spoke, they both developed normally up to the age of one and one and a half, but then they stopped."
It was the change in behaviour that led Mark and Sharon to question the health of their twin boys. "When the twins were one, they both spoke, they both developed normally up to the age of one and one and a half, but then they stopped."
Mark noticed changes in his son Tyler, "All of a sudden he lost his personality, and it was like he just disappeared. The sad reality is that he used to be able to say 'Mama' and 'Dada'." This no longer happens, and Mark tells of the heart break of his own son not being able to recognise him.
The boys started regression which is the early stages of autism setting in. People with Autism begin to stop talking, stop making eye contact and basically stop functioning. The struggles this family faces are much the same as lots of other Irish families, but the Larkin’s however have to fight for their boys as they are unable to do so themselves.
The boys started regression which is the early stages of autism setting in. People with Autism begin to stop talking, stop making eye contact and basically stop functioning. The struggles this family faces are much the same as lots of other Irish families, but the Larkin’s however have to fight for their boys as they are unable to do so themselves.
“It’s very tough to look after two autistic children.” Family life has changed considerably for the Larkin family but this has been necessary as they live with Autism as a family and as Mark pointed out this is something the vast majority of people fail to realise.
The twin’s older brother who at the tender age of eight has had to grow up considerably because of his younger brother’s condition. The twins have their moments where they throw things and scream and this is something that Callum has had to learn just to walk away from.
“My heart breaks for Calum, he is only a child, but living with autism has made him grow up very quickly.” adds Sharon.
The extended members of the Larkin family have been excellent in offering up emotional and financial support to the family. Mark and Sharon look to their own parents for guidance on occasion. “It really is about creating a support unit for families who live with Autism.” added Mark.
Tyler and Reece walk across the living room floor to explore the ‘stranger’ in the room who is talking to their father. Two bubbly and curious young men explore their surroundings walking back and forth from the TV. The picture of what a three year old should look like.
Sharon had been caring for the twins herself until recently when Mark gave up his job to stay at home and help Sharon with the boys. The boys are not fully developed to their three years and still need to be fed, and they wear nappies. It is another reality of living with Autism.
The Future
Reece and Tyler are enrolled at St Catherine’s school in Bray County Wicklow where they were receiving one to one tuition to assist with the early intervention which is vital for young sufferers of Autism.
Mark and Sharon realise the wide spectrum that autism brings, every child is different, but without their fight and their cause at the moment, the chances of Reece and Tyler’s return to one to one necessary early intervention teaching is slim.
The teachings were improving the quality of the boy’s lives and were responding well. However cuts to St Catherine’s have left Reece and Tyler without the vital one to one teaching that is seen as a fundamental role in helping autistic children reach mainstream school.
“You always hear of other families going through all this but you never think it’s going to happen to you,” says Sharon. “We need to fight for the boys because this country just sits back and takes it.”
The Larkin family would like to see the Department of Education to start recognising special needs assistants as teachers instead of them being paid by the HSE.
“If they are recognised as teachers and what they are doing by giving one to one intervention to young children with Autism, they should be recognised as teachers.” says the twin’s father.
Family Life
Mark and Sharon know that they must continue their fight and try to get the best help possible for their boys “We just have to get on with it, it is very difficult for the two of us, and we don’t really have time to think about ourselves.”
“It doesn’t seem to be getting any better. It seems to be getting worse, but I would not change it, I’m not complaining about my kids, I love them to bits and I would do anything for them.” says Mark.
“It’s just very frustrating and hard to deal with Autism and not only on us but on our other son Calum because he is living with autism also.”
Autism changed the lives of the Larkin family forever but it has drawn this close knit family even closer together. They face the next step in their journey together, as a family.
